The end of 2024

This blog is basically just a recap of the last 1/3rd of my 2024 and how it provided a multitude of feel-good moments and memorable occasions, but also handed me few experiences and in sighted new emotions in me that broke me but changed the way I view things and made me much stronger in the process.

Before I would say that I would try to summarise what I write to make things more entertaining for the people who actually read these things. This is time, I say screw entertainment! I am going to yap as much I want to in this blog because this is not just another quirky little holiday or some random thought I would usually blabber about. No! These few months have lit a spark in me that I must mention and must be documented on a piece of paper (it's online but don't worry about that) because it shaped who I am as a human being and I probably will never develop myself again if I don't write this and use it a tool to improve myself further in the future. Plus, it makes me feel kind of cool that I went through a sort of character development I guess.

So, if you actually care about me ranting on about my 2024, please continue going through this blog, but if you simply don't care, or if you have a class or a job meeting to attend to, or if you desperately needing to go to the bathroom and I am keeping you from doing so, please close your Google tab and mind about your own business.

Some background

If you remember from my previous blog, I had come back from a short vacation in May, which was...interesting to say the least. My school had finally started so this was my 9th grade in school this year, but this is also the time when teachers decide to scare the life out of us by reminding us that we have our board exams in one year and we must throw away all our happiness and study till you show no more emotion. So, this year was going to be fun!

Most of us didn't really take the teachers' words seriously, as we knew we still had one year to go which is a long time for us to study. Even my parents didn't believe in what they said. So, I just ignored them and just focused on my current tests and projects, enjoying my life on the side as well and not worrying as much. That is until our first-term exams come up.

before the holiday

Flash forward to August, I was studying a lot more as my exams were commencing in about 2 weeks. However, my friends did not care that I was taking this seriously and just wanted to throw me into a garbage truck. Ok, let me explain.

So, if you have read my previous blog post you would remember that I was planning to go to the UK for my summer vacations, but I hadn't received my passport yet. So, my parents tried to compensate for that by planning a holiday to the UK during my term-end holidays after my exams were finished. It was set. We would get on our flight on September 28th. However, we just assumed that our exams would get over around that time. I still hadn't received my exam timetable.

It turned out that my exams ended on October 1st, which was a Tuesday. Unfortunately, we were going on the 28th which was a Saturday. Personally, I wouldn't blame my parents for assuming that Friday was when my exams would end. I mean, why would the school extend it to two extra days? I personally find that kind of stupid, but I couldn't do anything about it. So, I was basically skipping two exams and failing two subjects.

That's why my friends were superbly jealous of me as I was basically enjoying myself in another country while my friends suffer thinking about physics 24/7. I, on the other hand, was absolutely delighted about the situation so I did not really worry about exams that much. At this point in time, I really wish I did.

october holiday

It was September 28th and my exams were finally over. Let me emphasize that. MY exams. My friends were still writing them. Anyways I was finally going to go on my trip to the United Kingdom! I was finally going to visit my cousins after a year, visit a bunch of popular cities, revisit a bunch of friends I have in the UK, and eat a mountain load of outside junk till I become obese.

Before I continue, I just want to say that I will keep this part very brief as this isn't the reason why I wrote this blog. I will say that this trip was the most fun I have ever had this year and easily the best part of my 2024. There were so many amazingly fun moments with my cousins along with me getting the tickets to watch a PREMIERE LEAGUE MATCH. It wasn't just any match. IT WAS A MANCHESTER CITY MATCH IN ETIHAD STADIUM!!!!!!! Easily the highlight of the year!!!!!!!

I also got to know that people in the UK do these things for a birthday treat regularly. What? That's just a whole another level of heaven. Ok, remember when I said I would make this part brief? Just bear with me when I ramble about this football match. For all the non-football fans, please skip this section.

Manchester City, one of the top clubs in the Premier League, would enter the match as the heavy favourites. Their style of play, based on possession, quick passing, and positional flexibility under Pep Guardiola, made them formidable opponents. It was also the fact that they had a massive win streak of 17 games or so since then. Fulham, while a smaller club in terms of resources and squad depth compared to City, would bring a gritty, disciplined approach, often looking to disrupt their opponents' rhythm. This was evident as they played brilliantly defensively for the first 20 minutes or so, then actually managed to score the first goal of the game against City, thanks to the brilliant Andreas Pereira!!! From then on, Fulham seemed like the better team as they were taking a more aggressive approach and had gotten the opportunity to score another, but was unfortunately denied by City's unmatched defence. Little did we know, there was a fire in a certain Croatian that was yet to have been revealed to the opposition team. After a while, City started to pick up the pace, they were able to crush through Fulham's defence but weren't able to place the ball into the net, until Mateo Kovacic scored an absolute banger from outside to box, levelling up the scoreboard to 1-1!!!!! It wasn't a while till Kovacic decided to score another insane goal just before half time making the score 2-1. In the second half, Jack Grealish and Manuel Akanji were substituted for Jeremy Doku and Kyle Walker. This substitution clearly worked to their benefit as Jeremy Doku immediately scores top bins from outside the box, scoring the best goal of the match!!! Fulham were in the process of a comeback. This was evident with a brilliant goal from Rodrigo Muniz, but in the end, City was just too strong for Fulham. The score ended as 3-2.

( this was written with the help of ChatGPT )

Back to the blog. So, as you can see, I was having the time of my life. I had no worries about anything, I was enjoying time with family and I couldn't have been happier. The trip was finally coming to an end on October 12th. We had returned home around night time. This was also the time when my school report card had been sent to my mother. So, I asked my mother to send it to me.

These were my grades:

·          English A

·          Maths A

·          Chemistry B

·          French B

·          ICT (Information and Communication Technology) C

·          Physics F

·          Business Studies B

To be fair, I did not even attend all my ICT and physics exams so I was bound to get a bad grade in both subjects. But come on!!! 3 Bs? 2 As? Not a single A*? My day was ruined.

I couldn't sleep for the next 3 hours and all I could think about was how on Earth did I screw up that badly. It hurt even more as I did well in my class tests in the middle of the term, so I thoughts exams would be no problem. My heart sunk to the ground. My head was aching with disappointment. My stomach was getting butterflies out of nervousness. I felt like a failure and I felt too ashamed to mention it to my friends. But, I decided moping about it was simply not going to solve anything, so I decided to sleep and wake up with a smile on my face the next day.

success!

A few weeks later, my long awaited friend from another country would be spending a week with me and my friends and family. Basically, I was enrolled to participate in a student exchange program where students all the way from Deggendorf, Germany visit our school and live with a family for 5 days. My partner was Max and he was my guy! Hope I can see you again bro!

This also could be another topic for another blog but I'm bringing this up because it plays a significant part of this "story". On that same time when the Germans were  visiting our school, our "Math Fest", which was just a day full of math related activities, was taking place that same week. One activity in the Math Fest was the Quiz against higher grades. Whoever wins, receives a tiny plastic trophy. I'd settle for a real one but it's fine.

To participate, you must be one out of the 5 people who scores the highest in a 10 question quiz assigned to each class. I was lucky enough to qualify. On the same day we had to compete against grade 8, 10 and 11 for the trophy. Grade 12 was hosting. There were 5 rounds to complete. I don't really remember them all that well because it was around 5 months, but that information is irrelevant so it doesn't matter. We had never really won the trophy ever so we were desperate for the taste of victory.

Before the 5th round the grade 12 students announced our scores. We had the second lowest and grade 10 had the highest, which was insane considering they were falling behind at the start!

The 5th round was a tiebreaker round, even though our scores weren't really tied. There would be one question worth 50 points and you already know what happens if a team gets the answer right. The question would differ according to the grade we were in and they all would given to us on a piece of paper at the same time. When we pointed our eyeballs at the question, we knew that we had found the answer. We told the Grade 12 students, and they just took a few seconds to confirm... THEY SAID IT WAS CORRECT!! WE HAD WON FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!!!!

It was such a surreal moment for all of us even though it was a stupid quiz most people will never remember, with plastics cups as the prizes, but we didn't care. My heart was beating at the fastest rate, due to the overwhelming feeling of joy and the extreme increase in self-esteem I was experiencing. I cherished that moment wholeheartedly.

Also I'm pretty sure it was the only trophy I've ever won in my life (I have won medals before though), which made it all the more special. I showed my friends, my parents and Max and I completely forgot about my exam marks from last term. It turns out not moping about it really did help. I was on top of the world. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

failure

I know I didn't mention it, but around the same time as Max was here, a sports tournament was taking place in my home community. All sports had a separate tournament and it would be going on for 2 months till the award ceremony takes place. I had participated for some of them, hoping I could bring more accolades home with me (by accolades, I mean more pieces of plastic but don't worry about it).We call it the Zonasha Premiere League (original title I know).

A few weeks later, I would also be playing in a band formed by me and my friends fora VIVA event (basically a competition among different schools). Add that to my never ending list of homework and tests to go through.

So you can see that I had quite a handful of tasks to accomplish. Going back to the ZPL, I participated in about 5 activities. The ones that mattered the most personally were the Football and Tennis tournaments.

For the football team selections, I ended up on the worst team. Of course I did!! It wasn't even a shock, because I usually end up in the weakest team. That doesn't even help the other teammates because I will just end up making our team worse. Ok, I know I sound whiny when I say this stuff, but YOU DON"T KNOW!! The other 2 teams were so overpowering that if my teammates read this, they would agree with my statements.

Anyways, I may have gotten the worst team, but that doesn't mean that we have no chance to clutch up and win, so I just hoped for the best. The day before the football tournament, I was already watching videos on tips for how to improve my defending or how to develop your skills on the pitch. Looking back, I am kind of embarassed. Like, come on, it was not that serious. I went to bed imagining myself as a player that stood out and even scored a goal or two while looking amazing.

I ended up going to the pitch without my hair combed, and I ended up as a goalkeeper with gloves that didnt even fit me!!! No disrespect to goalkeepers but why man!! Anyways we were all warming up 5 minutes before the match, until the match finally started. Look, I'm not going to waste any time and just state the final outcome. We lost 8-1. Think about that for a second, 8-1!!!!

That is like a Brazil-Germany 2014 World Cup level of embarrassing. However, it was a round robin so we weren't eliminated just yet... WE LOST 5-3 IN THE MATCH RIGHT AFTER THAT. All of our days were ultimately ruined. We all had to carry the burden of packing our bags, leaving the pitch trophy-less, thinking to ourselves "How the hell did I miss that shot?". To be completely honest with you, I did not really care too much. Hear me out, I was obviously upset by the fact that we were the first team to be sent home. However, did you really think we even had a chance? I had the worst team, or the least strong team. I was not expecting us to win the tournament. Although, scoring a few more goals would have been nice.

MORE FAILURE

So clearly I wasn't on top of the moon with our performance in the Football tournament, but I still had other competitions to win. I was mainly looking forward to the tennis tournament. This was due to the fact that I had put out my best performance in a sports tournament. To give you some context, I am not the most athletic person to say the least. I have also won only one medal in this event. ONE. Keep in mind that this is a collection of tournaments, that has been held for 5 years annually.

To think about how I had actually gone on to the second round in a tournament, made me so unbelievably happy. My second round match was a tough one too. I was down 3-0, but I fought my way into a tiebreak and ended up winning. YES!!! I had gone on to the third round with 6 people left. This was insane!! This was the longest run I have ever had in a tournament!! It was also evident that I had gone far when I realized that the top 6 contained tennis fanatics, all around sport geniuses that were born with an athletic body, and ME.

It was essential for me to train hard if I wanted to proceed any further in this tournament. However, I still didn't take things overly serious. I really wish I did to some extent. It was the day of my third match. It was 5 in the afternoon. I was warming up with my friend. My dad and many other uncles were going to be watching me. 5 minutes go past me like a flash as I see myself bouncing the ball, preparing to serve for the first game of the match. I tried to hit my forehands and backhands as consistently as I could, and tried to make my opponent tire out, but it turns out that was exactly what he was doing to me. He took my legs, then he took my confidence, but I still didn't give up. However, not giving up did not pay off as I ended up getting my butt beat 6-1.

The worst thing was that my dad and many other people were watching me. I was heavily resisting yelling at myself in frustration and did nothing but shake my opponent's hand, and leave the court with bitter disappointment. The loss hit me even harder when I ended up losing the doubles tournament instantly, without even giving the others a challenge. I ended up really depressed. You might be asking, " Surely you won some of the other tournaments you participated in right? I mean, there is no way could lose every single...", I LOST EVERY SINGLE ONE!!! I won nothing.

I didn't even win the Athletics gold medals, that have around 6 events in itself. I lost every single one. I hit rock bottom. My body was crushed, along with my soul. I would cry inside at regular intervals, and I just felt like a failure. Surely things couldn't get worse.

and more failure

If you are still following, I still the VIVA event that our band were supposed to compete in. We had decided that we were going to perform to song "Riptide". One would be playing the piano, two would be playing guitar, and I would be playing drums. The rules for the competition were that the activities could be either solo or group and whatever you perform must be within the time limit of 90 seconds (which I think is just absurd but I digress).

We had quite a lot to do in the span of 1 week. We had to choose the song. Then, we had to practice our separate instrumental parts of the song. Then, we had to come together and practice our synchronization. Finally, we had to somehow shorten the song down to 90 seconds ( which I still think is just absurd but moving on). T

This contest would be taking place for a whole month. Whoever wins the final will be rewarded with a giant lump of 2 crore rupees!!! We had decided to practice in my house for about 3 hours (less time I know, but we had to deal with it). After practicing we were so confident we were planning ahead in the competition on what songs to play then. Overall, we were ready!

On the day of the performance, we were the 8th performance of the day.The previous performances were awful to say the least and confidence grew to new heights. Surprisingly, our expectations, weren't met. They were exceeded! We somehow sounded more amazing than we had imagined, even on video. The singing was incredible! The drums and guitars were synchronized to make a melody that sounded mesmerizing. Everything was perfect.

We all played our part to perfection, however, we did end up singing the chorus a bit longer than rehearsed. We did not worry too much of it though. The next week, my friend texted our class teacher, asking if the results had come yet. She messaged 30 minutes later and I quote, "You did not qualify to the second round, because you exceeded the time limit by 2 seconds". I'm sorry, let me just clear my throat for second.

Mmmmm.... WHAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 SECONDS????? ARE YOU SERIOUS??????? THATS WHY WE LOST???? IT WAS NOT EVEN NOTICEABLE!!!! ALL OUR HOPES OF GAINING A GREAT REPUTATION AND WINNING AN INSANE CASH PRIZE BIG ENOUGH TO NEVER WORK AGAIN ARE GONE, BECAUSE OF 2 GODDAMN SECONDS?????????

That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I would lie on my bed weeping every once in a while, pondering if the math fest win was just a fluke. I couldn't deal with all these mishaps and fails. They were really starting to affect my mental health and I sometimes couldn't even sleep thinking about it. Then, after talking to parents and friends about it, I realised...

the end of 2024, not me

All these failures were worth more than always winning.

All these failures taught me things to improve on for different skills in the future that I probably would not have known if I had won them all.

All these failures taught me to stand my ground, not be caught by the trap of depression and emotional damage and just keep on trying, all due to the promise that things will somehow turn out okay in the end. All these failures, and I am still standing here, talking to you.

These moments don't define you, and you can still live incredible happy lives in the remaining time, no matter your faults. Failure is nothing but an obstacle placed by God to train you to overcome them and not become overwhelmed by their after effects.

The past is the past and, yes it can hurt. But in the end, it is your decision to either run from it or learn from it. Hell, you can even laugh at it and write a blog post about it and send it to a bunch of people.

In the end, I'm glad I lost literally everything I did, because it taught a valuable lesson and helped me view life in a different way. I hope this helped you in a way to overcome the fear of failure and use it as a learning process for future success.

Now, all I have to say is, it is 11:30pm while I'm typing this and I am really tired. I'm just going to sleep.

Goodnight and gooodbye.